Wednesday, 12 December 2007
From today onwards, I shall walk in the rain unless it is too heavy and I cannot take it. It seems that I am torturing myself, but I just do not want to use the umbrella. Maybe I am just feeling down or something like that. I wonder if I am behaving kind of weird recently and I feel that I am just not myself these few days.
I feel miserable, just miserable. It is so hard to explain the feeling, but I feel that I am forcing myself to lose out in something which I do not want to lose. I know it is down to me to get back to my usual self. I just pray that I can. I am caught between barriers and boulders. Although I may have the strength to push them aside, I rather choose to give up. It is so hard to carry on. Whether this is a test or not, I may not know. I know no one can help me now and I am here all alone. Still, I know God hears my prayer.
Yesterday, I wrote a song for someone which I took about two hours. I hope my effort will pay off, but I am not really satisfied as the music was not composed by me, and I used another song as an inspiration. Well, I just hope that the person I wrote it for will appreciate it and even if it is not appreciated, I know I did my best. Writing a song is really not easy and I think writing a musical script is even worst.
Dear God, I just pray that you will give Daryl enough inspiration for the final part of the script and that everyone that is acting will be able to do their part. Make this Christmas a memorable one for everyone even though I feel that I am not in the mood. I pray that you grant everyone in the musical good health and strength. Amen.